Imperfection
Its 6:20. I just got back to the office after my run.
I got up at 5:30 this morning and had an attack of conscience. I had to get in a draft of a chapter I am working on and so instead of lacing up my shoes I fired up my computer and started working on it. I said that when I got done with it I would reward myself with a run. It was about 4 by the time I got done. Its a dreary feeling, thinking everyone else is getting done with their day and I'm starting my run. The sun is starting to go down, and I know that when I'm done with my run I'm going right back to the office to catch up on the other stuff I needed to get done today.
Well, given that I might as well make it a long run. And I might as well swing by the tree. So I headed out to Lansdowne on the same loop I did on Sunday (check there for course map link). The tree was there waiting, like it has been for the past 300 years. I'm happy to see it, and then the time is so short before I'm leaving again, running past it and wishing I could spend more time there.
Going down Lansdowne Ave. I pack up my iPod and put it in my little shorts pocket. Just can't take to listen to music today, the sounds are filling my head and making me claustrophobic. So for the rest of the run I'm alone with my thoughts. They keep me good company.
My calves ache and I'm very tired, but I try to keep at least a faster pace than I did Sunday. But its hard. By the time its time to turn south on 63rd and Woodland I just want to go straight and get the run done. But I turn anyway, I always con myself into doing it by telling myself that going against my will builds mental toughness. And I'm probably right. It was tough running that last bit in the dark with headlights coming up against me on Lindbergh Blvd.
Thoughts of perfection were rattling around in my head. The chapter I sent off today was less than perfect. I wanted to keep working on it yet couldn't. I have a really hard time sending off something I feel is less than my best, but today I had no choice, I could only get it to the point of being good enough. And that's what my run felt like today. Good enough. I guess.
But I got it in and I'll reward myself now by walking over to Gold Star Pizza for a big big Italian hoagie. Given that its then back to the salt mines, its the least I can do.
With the USP add-on the loop was a little longer than Sunday's loop. And a little faster. 12.5 miles in 99:01.
I got up at 5:30 this morning and had an attack of conscience. I had to get in a draft of a chapter I am working on and so instead of lacing up my shoes I fired up my computer and started working on it. I said that when I got done with it I would reward myself with a run. It was about 4 by the time I got done. Its a dreary feeling, thinking everyone else is getting done with their day and I'm starting my run. The sun is starting to go down, and I know that when I'm done with my run I'm going right back to the office to catch up on the other stuff I needed to get done today.
Well, given that I might as well make it a long run. And I might as well swing by the tree. So I headed out to Lansdowne on the same loop I did on Sunday (check there for course map link). The tree was there waiting, like it has been for the past 300 years. I'm happy to see it, and then the time is so short before I'm leaving again, running past it and wishing I could spend more time there.
Going down Lansdowne Ave. I pack up my iPod and put it in my little shorts pocket. Just can't take to listen to music today, the sounds are filling my head and making me claustrophobic. So for the rest of the run I'm alone with my thoughts. They keep me good company.
My calves ache and I'm very tired, but I try to keep at least a faster pace than I did Sunday. But its hard. By the time its time to turn south on 63rd and Woodland I just want to go straight and get the run done. But I turn anyway, I always con myself into doing it by telling myself that going against my will builds mental toughness. And I'm probably right. It was tough running that last bit in the dark with headlights coming up against me on Lindbergh Blvd.
Thoughts of perfection were rattling around in my head. The chapter I sent off today was less than perfect. I wanted to keep working on it yet couldn't. I have a really hard time sending off something I feel is less than my best, but today I had no choice, I could only get it to the point of being good enough. And that's what my run felt like today. Good enough. I guess.
But I got it in and I'll reward myself now by walking over to Gold Star Pizza for a big big Italian hoagie. Given that its then back to the salt mines, its the least I can do.
With the USP add-on the loop was a little longer than Sunday's loop. And a little faster. 12.5 miles in 99:01.
posted by seebo | 6:17 PM
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