Discipline
I got up at 6 this morning and made it to the bathroom.
Usually I keep going at this point and know that later I will be glad I did. But after the marathon I vowed that, if I did run this month, it would only be with joy. And West Philly was Mudville this morning, with no joy present in the prospect of running in the cold and dark. So, with all the self-discipline forged from years of training, I went back to bed.
You think I'm being ironic here. It took me a good five minutes to make this decision. What does it mean when one has reached a point where the default becomes to go run, and there comes a need to talk oneself into not running? When its more difficult to go to a warm bed than to go outside into the freezing cold?
What iced my decision this morning was the realization of how rare this opportunity was to go back to bed without having to bring any guilt with me. And so I did, and now, in retrospect, am glad about my choice.
Took Wednesday off, as planned. Missed yesterday's run because I had to go to NYC. Picked up another pound since I last posted. Will maybe run tomorrow and still plan to run Brian's Run on Sunday.
Folks are still asking me about my marathon. Somehow they're able to sense that this was a big deal for me, and, more surprisingly, seem to truly share in the joy around this accomplishment. Thank you all for this, as I continue to be touched. The latest was this morning when I was doing my usual stint of writing at Green Line Cafe. LC, an old friend who I don't see much anymore, came up to me and said how she couldn't stop thinking of me two Sunday's ago, and was really happy to hear how well things went. I told her I tapped into this energy, and indeed I can still feel the good karma that comes from the many folks who ask and congratulate.
So the home field advantage continues, even after the race ends. And the rigors of not training continue to challenge me, but I feel up to the task.
Usually I keep going at this point and know that later I will be glad I did. But after the marathon I vowed that, if I did run this month, it would only be with joy. And West Philly was Mudville this morning, with no joy present in the prospect of running in the cold and dark. So, with all the self-discipline forged from years of training, I went back to bed.
You think I'm being ironic here. It took me a good five minutes to make this decision. What does it mean when one has reached a point where the default becomes to go run, and there comes a need to talk oneself into not running? When its more difficult to go to a warm bed than to go outside into the freezing cold?
What iced my decision this morning was the realization of how rare this opportunity was to go back to bed without having to bring any guilt with me. And so I did, and now, in retrospect, am glad about my choice.
Took Wednesday off, as planned. Missed yesterday's run because I had to go to NYC. Picked up another pound since I last posted. Will maybe run tomorrow and still plan to run Brian's Run on Sunday.
Folks are still asking me about my marathon. Somehow they're able to sense that this was a big deal for me, and, more surprisingly, seem to truly share in the joy around this accomplishment. Thank you all for this, as I continue to be touched. The latest was this morning when I was doing my usual stint of writing at Green Line Cafe. LC, an old friend who I don't see much anymore, came up to me and said how she couldn't stop thinking of me two Sunday's ago, and was really happy to hear how well things went. I told her I tapped into this energy, and indeed I can still feel the good karma that comes from the many folks who ask and congratulate.
So the home field advantage continues, even after the race ends. And the rigors of not training continue to challenge me, but I feel up to the task.
posted by seebo | 11:17 AM
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