Happy February!
That is how I greet my kids in the morning on the first of a month (when I remember it is the first of a month). Runningwise, I also get to look ahead at my goals for the upcoming month. I'll do it like at a race, where I'll set a baseline, a realistic, and a reach goal. My baseline is 200 miles; my realistic goal is to beat January's mileage (232); and my reach goal is to beat last February's mileage (260).
I logged 12 today at lunch time, running the Strawberry Mansion Bridge loop and tacking on an extra half mile in two places. It was ideal conditions for running, sunny and temps in the mid 30s. The snow is slowly starting to melt. I started out feeling high energy so I thought I would run a bit of the mid course at marathon pace (6 min flat). Just to see if I had it in me yet and how I would feel.
As I resolved this an ominous dread came over me. Part fear, part nerves, part resistance and part I don't know what, I was really scrambling for excuses not to run this bit. I bargained with myself that there was no pressure, this was a trial run to get the lead out, etc. and there was no failing involved. But that didn't help. I really didn't want to run fast. I did it anyway, and had no problem with it, running three miles on West River Dr in 17:45. Not effortless and not to the point where I can yet picture myself running 26 of these, but not anaerobic effort by any stretch either. For this early in the training cycle I'll definitely take it. My right knee is sore again, back to where it was about a month ago. I'll see if it lingers tomorrow.
So what's up with this dread I was feeling? It was odd, as though all of a sudden something was at stake, something I could lose. It was almost like the butterflies I get at the beginning of a race, right after the starting gun when we are all scrambling for pace and position. Its like I want marathon pace to be effortless. Something I could just ratchet up to and float through the miles, where I dont want to work. I don't mind putting in the miles, I just don't want to run them fast. Its not like on the treadmill, where running 6's is survival, the speed of the tread doesn't leave a choice. Here its pushing, and pushing harder to keep from slowing down, and concentrating so that when I slow down I can push. Its the mental shit that I feel afraid of more than the physical. Something about pushing, I feel it now again, that leaves me not wanting to.
Embrace the anxiety. That's what I was told when I was younger and what I try to do in a situation like this. And if I'm to embrace it than this blog becomes my arms, and while I'm embracing all that anxiety I'll just reach around a little farther and include the rest of me in the hug. I don't know if I deserve it but I can sure use it.
I gotta get to bed, as its up and running at 6 again tmrw morning with Erin.
I logged 12 today at lunch time, running the Strawberry Mansion Bridge loop and tacking on an extra half mile in two places. It was ideal conditions for running, sunny and temps in the mid 30s. The snow is slowly starting to melt. I started out feeling high energy so I thought I would run a bit of the mid course at marathon pace (6 min flat). Just to see if I had it in me yet and how I would feel.
As I resolved this an ominous dread came over me. Part fear, part nerves, part resistance and part I don't know what, I was really scrambling for excuses not to run this bit. I bargained with myself that there was no pressure, this was a trial run to get the lead out, etc. and there was no failing involved. But that didn't help. I really didn't want to run fast. I did it anyway, and had no problem with it, running three miles on West River Dr in 17:45. Not effortless and not to the point where I can yet picture myself running 26 of these, but not anaerobic effort by any stretch either. For this early in the training cycle I'll definitely take it. My right knee is sore again, back to where it was about a month ago. I'll see if it lingers tomorrow.
So what's up with this dread I was feeling? It was odd, as though all of a sudden something was at stake, something I could lose. It was almost like the butterflies I get at the beginning of a race, right after the starting gun when we are all scrambling for pace and position. Its like I want marathon pace to be effortless. Something I could just ratchet up to and float through the miles, where I dont want to work. I don't mind putting in the miles, I just don't want to run them fast. Its not like on the treadmill, where running 6's is survival, the speed of the tread doesn't leave a choice. Here its pushing, and pushing harder to keep from slowing down, and concentrating so that when I slow down I can push. Its the mental shit that I feel afraid of more than the physical. Something about pushing, I feel it now again, that leaves me not wanting to.
Embrace the anxiety. That's what I was told when I was younger and what I try to do in a situation like this. And if I'm to embrace it than this blog becomes my arms, and while I'm embracing all that anxiety I'll just reach around a little farther and include the rest of me in the hug. I don't know if I deserve it but I can sure use it.
I gotta get to bed, as its up and running at 6 again tmrw morning with Erin.
posted by seebo | 10:49 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home