Seebo's Run

A running commentary on my training and whatever else emerges from that.

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Location: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, United States

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Day Off?

Third Floor loop, to the window and back to bed. 50 ft. in maybe 10 minutes.

It is pouring rain, haven't checked the temps but the heat has kicked on. And there I stand, looking outside and agonizing over the existential question of the moment: to run or not to run.

That that is even the question on a morning like this scares me. Even a month ago I would have heard the cozy pitter patter and turned over in my bed, knowing I had a good excuse for sleeping in. But something has changed and, even after returning to bed I lay there fitfully, wondering if I made the right decision or whether I should have run.

What it comes down to is how badly do I want to go outside vs. convincing myself that there is a point to go. Today is an easy day, there really isn't any need to get the mileage in, and the run will be cold, wet, nasty and devoid of any tangible benefit save logging miles and telling myself that I went out this morning.

But both of those latter points weigh heavily on my mind. My weekly mileage is now unlikely to get into the 70s, let alone the 80s, meaning that it will be a disappointing week. And behind that, and looming larger, is an identity question. Do I have the drive to go out and run on a morning like this? Will I do whatever it takes? by any means necessary?

Dick Beardsley, when he was injured in his native Minnesota, took to shoveling snow. Once he shoveled the snow he reshoveled it. Then he did intervals, seeing how fast he could shovel snow for 3 minute periods, etc. etc. for several hours at a time. Does that show the drive it takes to succeed at the sport, or is that just nuts?

The Hamletian question then became that question: what does it say about me if I do go out there? And ultimately I didn't like what it would have said. And in some ways I felt more pain and discomfort lying in bed than I would have running whatever soggy loop I would have done out there. I'll have to settle for that, a tortured mental workout likely to leave me sore all day.

Off to Katy this afternoon to spend a long Easter weekend with "the cousins." I may or may not get a chance to write when I'm there.

Daylight katy come on
Daylight katy come on
If you can’t follow me down
Daylight katy go home
~ Gordon Lightfoot


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